<![CDATA[Dr Rachael Molitor

<![CDATA[Dr Rachael Molitor - Blog]]>Sat, 10 Oct 2026 01:57:46 +0100Weebly<![CDATA[The Psychology behind "Baby Reindeer": The Window into Parasocial Relationships and Obsession]]>Wed, 08 May 2024 16:04:23 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/the-psychology-behind-baby-reindeer-the-window-into-parasocial-relationships-and-obsession

Baby Reindeer, the new Netflix drama-documentary, dives headfirst into the unsettling world of stalking, leaving viewers both disturbed and strangely captivated. This blog explores the reasons behind this fascination, venturing into the dark corners of human behavior and our obsession with true stories.

Morbid Curiosity and Escapism
Similar to true crime documentaries and shows about serial killers, "Baby Reindeer" taps into our morbid curiosity. We're drawn to the darkness, wanting to understand the "why" behind these unsettling acts. It also provides a form of escapism, allowing us to witness situations far removed from our own safe realities.

A Stirring Pot of Emotions: Martha's Paradox
The show masterfully creates a complex portrait of Martha, the protagonist. We see her vulnerability, which evokes empathy, juxtaposed with her cyberbullying and stalking behaviour, which is deeply disturbing. This mix of emotions keeps us glued to the screen, fascinated by the psychological complexities at play.

From Fans to Fixated: The Celebrity Obsession Connection
"Baby Reindeer" also sheds light on our relationship with celebrities. The term "parasocial relationships" describes how fans develop one-sided emotional bonds with celebrities, feeling a closeness that isn't reciprocated. The show explores how this normal phenomenon can morph into something more sinister, like erotomania or Clérambault's Syndrome. The sudden fame Martha experiences through the show fuels the audience's desire to find the "real Martha," blurring the line between entertainment and dangerous obsession.

Halo Effect, Hero Worship, and the Power of Perception
Psychology teaches us about the "halo effect," where we perceive attractive people as more trustworthy and likeable. "Baby Reindeer" plays with this concept, as Martha doesn't fit the "attractive" stereotype. However, her connection with Donny sparks a curious dynamic, leading to a strange form of hero worship where viewers find themselves empathizing with both characters. This interplay between the halo effect and the complexities of the characters adds another layer of intrigue to the story.

Our Celebrity Obsession: Parasocial Relationships and the Rise of #RealMartha
Within parasocial relationships, fans develop one-sided emotional bonds with celebrities, feeling a sense of intimacy despite the lack of real interaction, often fuelled by curated social media personas. This one-sided relationship that individuals develop with media personalities, including celebrities may curate a deep connection with a the ‘well-known’ individual (a celeb in both a positive or negative light) despite the lack of any real interaction. This one-sided relationship can lead to a sense of closeness and intimacy, leading from the relatively normal psychological aspect of parasocial relationship, into Erotomania onward to such syndromes as Clérambault’s. In this regard Martha has been thrust into the limelight of celebrity and stardom via the baby reindeer program, leading the lay person and general population to search out and find the #RealMartha as well as Darrien, the Movie Producer. This frenzy highlights the dangers of parasocial relationships, blurring the lines between entertainment and reality, and potentially fueling unhealthy fixations on unattainable connections.

The Spectrum of Truth in Docu-Drama
Shows like "Baby Reindeer" exploit our human need to understand real-life scenarios. While based on a true story, the narrative is crafted for entertainment, often blurring the lines between fact and dramatization. This ambiguity fuels our desire to find the "real truth" behind the story, leading viewers to search for the true identities of the characters and the unfiltered events that unfolded. The internet fuels this fire, with fans scouring social media and online forums for clues, piecing together their own version of reality. This detective work becomes part of the viewing experience, extending the engagement with the show long after the credits roll.

The Cliffhanger of Reality
The show's abrupt ending leaves us yearning for closure. We want to know what happened to Martha, if she faced consequences, or how Donny moved on. This unresolved nature is a hallmark of real-life events, where stories aren't always neatly wrapped up. However, in the context of a documentary-style show, it leaves us craving a definitive ending, a completion of the narrative that might never come. This lack of closure mirrors the complexities of real-life situations, where the consequences of actions may not be readily apparent. It forces us to confront the uncomfortable reality that not all stories have a happy ending.

In Conclusion
"Baby Reindeer" is more than just a dark drama. It's a psychological exploration of our fascination with the darker aspects of humanity, celebrity obsession, and the insatiable human desire for truth and understanding. It's a show that reflects our own voyeuristic tendencies, leaving us questioning the line between entertainment and exploitation. While the story may leave us unsettled, it undeniably sparks a conversation about the complexities of human behaviour and the stories that hold us captive.

]]><![CDATA[Remember to BREATHE - top tips for Stress Management]]>Wed, 24 Apr 2024 23:00:00 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/stress-management-breathe

We’ve all had those moments, with lists after lists, the feeling you’ve forgotten something. We may go through days sometimes on top of everything feeling invincible, and others when we feel we are continually chasing our own tail.

The seeming willingness to take more and more on, the swan on top of the water with the feet scrabbling to stay afloat. Sound familiar? You are not alone - just remember to B.R.E.A.T.H.E.
3 out of 4 UK adults have felt so stressed at some point over the past 12 months they have been overwhelmed or unable to cope. The “busy but I’ll be okay” can soon turn to “too much to handle” with the smallest of things, the straw that broke the camels back as the saying goes. Between university, work, family and social commitments, one can suddenly feel overwhelmed with the smallest thing snowballing to cause unnecessary stress feeling difficult to manage, toppling the ever towering Jenga of life.

It is important to highlight that not all stress is bad. Each of us experience a certain levels of stress in our day to day lives, impossible to completely eliminate. What is defined as “acute stress” - short term, fast acting, and can sometimes even be suggests to benefit your levels of productivity. Whilst some may thrive of the stress of an impending deadline for a piece of work, others may find it too much to handle. If these acute stressors become more longer lasting, one can begin to experience “chronic stress”, a longer term stress than can consume your thoughts and emotions within your everyday tasks, having a negative impact on behaviours, relationships, and health. Recognising the signs when “a lot” becomes “too much” is so important.
To combat our stress, we all need to set time aside to unwind and manage our own health and well-being. Learning how to recognise and manage stress throughout our daily lives takes practice, but it is vital to understand and be aware of stressors, and how to deal with them. From minor hiccups to major challenges, stress is inevitably a part of life. Although we cannot control the circumstances by which stress can occur, we can control how you respond to them, to calm your mind and body.
With all this said, it's important to have a variety of stress management tips and tricks to help and support in times of need, to pick a strategy that works best for your current situation. Dr Rachael Molitor, Psychologist and lecturer at Coventry University discusses 7 top strategies to help manage stress, with the main message to BREATHE.

Balance Work and Home
It’s so important to balance home and work life, to spend the time needed for work but to take time out for home, family and friends. By taking on too much work and commitments, one feels the balance can shift and work can seemingly take up the majority of our time, losing valuable social and emotional time and support with friends and family. On average as full time employees, our working week is split in to equal thirds of; work, sleep, and additional time. It is therefore so important to address work life balance to ensure that work does not creep into the protected home life time, and additional stressors along with it. With working from home the highest during the pandemic, many people began and continued on to work from home. With this, lines can be blurred between work and home life, starting earlier or working later in to the evening and weekend. It’s vital to keep dedicated time to enjoyable activities, and using that time for hobbies instead of work.

Reframing your thoughts
Reframing is a way of changing your outlook of a given situation, and thus change your experience and how you feel about it. When taking on too much, the smallest of things asked of you by one person could elicit an emotional response not in keeping with the size of the request or situation. With more on your shoulders for each step, the smallest of additional emotional or physical stressor may feel too much to carry.
One way to manage this is to address the situation at hand, or to reframe how one thinks and feels about the situation. A stressful event dependent on your current mood and state can be framed in to something either too much to handle, a burden, or alternatively a opportunity, or challenge to be taken on and overcome. By thinking positively where we can, finding the positives in the situation, the learning points and the beneficial outcomes, can help to reframe the pint glass from half empty to half full. It is important however to remember, it is still only a pint glass, and so we need to understand our limits. We may ourselves be full to the brim, and one minor thing may break the meniscus of water tension to overflow.

Engage with Others
The saying that “a problem shared is a problem halved” can never be more true than this situation. Social support is a vital part of stress management. Talking to someone about your worries or concerns, even saying them out loud can help you evaluate your own feelings and rationalise your thoughts, simply by expressing them in words. Whilst one may find it difficult to ask for professional help or support, humans are inevitably social beings, with research highlighting that having someone to talk to about your worries and thoughts is associated with less stress and higher levels of life satisfaction. One may think that they do not wish to burden people with their worries, but by expressing ones feelings they may relate and benefit from the conversation. Humans are expressive and vocal beings, and talking through life worries and stressors helps us individually rationalise and verbalise our thoughts, and compartmentalise our concerns in to more manageable solutions.

Acknowledge your stressors
The first step to solving a problem, is to acknowledge that there is one. So much of what we do is entangled within our lives, being able to recognise and acknowledge the warning signs of stress where things may get “a bit too much” is so beneficial for the long term outcome. Although we cannot remove all stressors from our lives, we can acknowledge the ones that are taking too much processing time, and execute strategies that engage in both problem and emotion focused coping. Problem-focused coping strategies involves taking active efforts and practical steps to tackle the issue or situation, consequently directly reducing the stressor from your life. This may be such things as working on time management or asking for additional support when needed. Emotion-focused coping strategies on the other hand attempts to reduce the feelings of negative emotional responses associated with the stressor. This may be the only option when the stressor may be out of ones own control. Such methods as distraction, cognitive reappraisal and mindfulness are such examples of readdressing the emotions associated with the stressor, reframing our thoughts and actions.

Task Prioritisation
We have all felt on occasions that our to-do lists are getting longer not shorter, we may even have numerous lists that may overwhelm our thoughts; which one is most important, which deadline is first, do I deal with the little problems or the big problems first? Having an abundance of thoughts and tasks can cloud our mind, losing the ability to see clearly, not seeing the wood from the trees. By consolidating all tasks in to one list may seem overwhelming at first, but by creating a linear train of thought can help to calm the panic and help to prioritise the tasks that need to be completed. Making a plan, ordering by dates and deadlines, and prioritising the things that have to be done first helps to lift that weighted vest and breathe just that little easier. Try ticking off 3 little things on your list that can be easily done but just left by the wayside, notice how much a a relief it is to tick them off the list. That positive reinforcement helps to give a dopamine spike to feel good, making us do more. We are programmed to search out feel good feelings, and completing tasks that have been getting you down is one of them!

Healthy lifestyle
Lack of sleep, sedentary lifestyles, and poor nutrition can all bring great reactivity toward stress. Where one may think that adding exercise to your daily life may not be possible, a walk, run or 10 minutes exercise (1) increases our mental alertness, energy and positive mood. Nutrition is also vital for our stress and how we cope with may cope with these stressors. Emotional eating is a dysfunctional coping strategy whereby people use food as a way to mask the feelings of stress. Although providing a temporary sense of relief by reaching for high-sugar, high-fat foods, the inevitable blood sugar crush may lead to more feelings of stress and anxiety, alongside the guilt for the foods consumed. Learning how to regulate your feelings, and find coping strategies away from use of food for emotion regulation strategies can help to reframe and readdress certain habits, leaning away from detrimental behaviours such as chocolate or alcohol, to positive ones such as healthy eating and activity.

Engage in Gratitude
Finding the positives in certain situations may be hard for some, but searching for that warming thought, happy moment, and thankful feeling can benefit our mind over the challenges we may be facing. By appreciating the things we do have, and reframing our “don’t have’s” to “not yet’s” can help to motivate one to strive for those extra feelings of gratitude in our lives. Although the connection between gratitude and stress may not be immediately obvious for some it allows one to detach from all encompassing stressful thought and instead refocus to that a positive memory, moment or experience. Focusing on the things we have and being thankful for these can help to see things just that little bit shiner, that little bit brighter, inevitably making the sun feel a little warmer and the hug from a friend that little tighter. Gratitude can start in the simplest of ways; try writing down 3 things you have done today that you are proud, happy about or thankful for. Keep these with you and when feeling stressed or anxious, remind yourself of the things that made that warming feeling.

(1) Ekkekakis, P., Hall, E.E., Van Landuyt, L.M. & Petruzzello, S. (2000). Walking in (affective) circles: Can short walks enhance affect? Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 23 (3), 245–275.

]]><![CDATA[The Presentation Imposter Syndrome – your own Worst Critic: How to Use CBT Techniques to Support Your Public Speaking Journey.]]>Sun, 21 Apr 2024 23:00:00 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/the-presentation-imposter-syndrome-your-own-worst-critic-how-to-use-cbt-techniques-to-support-your-public-speaking-journey

What if I told you there's a way to retrain your brain to view presentations as exciting opportunities, not terrifying ordeals? Enter the world of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and its powerful technique: Cognitive Restructuring.

Cognitive Restructuring 101: From "I Can't" to "I Can!"
This technique equips you to challenge and change negative thought patterns that hold you back. When it comes to public speaking, these patterns often sound like the voice of an imposter, whispering doubts and anxieties. This is known as Imposter Syndrome, we all have it - and believe me after over 3 years of Lecturing - it doesn’t go away .

Remind yourself of positive past experiences.
The adrenaline will get you through – and how awesome will you feel after you’ve achieved the talk, shared your expertise and been greeted with a post-presentation round of applause! Think of a time you’ve achieved something and that hit of Dopamine we get – the feel-good hormone – ride that wave and you’ll be coming back for more.

Think about presenting as a positive opportunity.
Reframing the audience from a negative to a positive group of people eager to hear your story is important. Instead of thinking that others are there to judge you (even if it is in an exam, conference or VIVA setting), instead focus on the idea that they are there to listen to your knowledge and support what you have to say. They are your cheerleaders, not your jailors. Plus, you’re the only one who knows what you were planning on saying… they wont know if you go wrong!

Write down your reasons for doing the presentation
Think about the reasons you are doing the presentation, note down the skills you have gained from standing up in front of others. I personally went from presenting to 5 students in my MSc course to 5,000 in a public speaking event on a stage, with just me, a mic and many many faces… take small steps and remind yourself of how you got here – you can do this!

Remind yourself that nerves enhance performance
Being nervous is good, if you weren’t – then I’d be nervous! We all have Imposter Syndrome, that voice inside our head that says at some point someone will turn around and say “you don’t know what you’re talking about” – that voice is only your self-doubt. Nerves help with adrenaline, and can actually help you focus on the task (or presentation) at hand.

Here's how CBT techniques within this can be your secret weapon:

1. Identifying Automatic Thoughts: Catching Those Negative Voices
The first step is becoming aware of your inner critic. When faced with a presentation, what thoughts pop into your head? Are they self-deprecating whispers like "I'm going to mess up" or "Everyone will think I'm a fraud"? These are your Automatic Thoughts – the initial, often unchallenged, beliefs that shape your emotions and behaviours.

2. Recognising Cognitive Distortions: Exposing the Unhelpful Thinking Traps
Once you've identified your ATs, let's examine them for hidden biases. These are called Cognitive Distortions, unhelpful thinking patterns that can distort reality. Here are some common ones that plague presenters:

All-or-Nothing Thinking: Seeing things in extremes ("If I make one mistake, the whole presentation is ruined").
Mind Reading: Assuming the audience has negative thoughts about you ("They're all judging me").
Fortune Telling: Predicting negative outcomes without evidence ("I'm going to bomb for sure").

3. Disputing Negative Thoughts: Challenging the Critic's Whispers
Now comes the power move: disputing your Automatic Thoughts. Ask yourself questions like:

Is this thought truly realistic?
Is there evidence to support it?
What's a more balanced and helpful way to think about this?

For example, instead of "Everyone will think I'm a fraud," challenge it with: "The audience is here to learn, not judge. They might even appreciate my nervousness – it shows I care."

4. Replacing Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones: Planting the Seeds of Success
Finally, replace your disputed Automatic Thoughts with positive affirmations. Here are some CBT-inspired reframes to empower you:

"I have prepared for this and know my stuff."
"The audience are hear to see me succeed."
"Everyone gets nervous, it can even enhance my performance."
"I can handle any challenges that arise by believing I can do it."

Bonus Tip: Ride the Dopamine Wave!
Think back to a time you successfully delivered a presentation. Remember the surge of satisfaction and confidence? That's dopamine, your feel-good hormone, kicking in. Tap into that memory and ride that wave of positivity into your next presentation.

Remember, you are not alone! We all experience presentation fears and worries. By using CBT techniques, you can transform your inner critic into a supportive voice, allowing you to deliver presentations with confidence and clarity.

]]><![CDATA[Opinion Piece: The Use of Mobile Phones in Schools: Balancing Instant Connection, Technological Learning, and Cybersafety]]>Mon, 19 Feb 2024 00:00:00 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/phones-in-school

The continual presence of mobile phones among school children in England has reignited conversation within educational circles regarding whether they should be allowed, fully banned, and if the risks of going mobile-free for our children outweigh the benefits.

Focusing on both the advantages and disadvantages, challenges, and implications of banning mobile phones in schools, we must address the need for technology within our ever-adapting environment in the current education field.

Positive Impacts: Safety, Connection, and Learning

When considering the argument around mobile phone use within the education setting, one must understand the potential benefits of having mobile phones for connection and social interaction.

Either side of the school day
The school day is only part of the experience within the education sector, with students traveling on public transport to get to their educational setting. Mobile phones support not only the children with communicating where to meet friends on their way to school but also support parents' confidence that their children can get in touch if need be. Call me old-fashioned, but I remember waiting at the school gates with no contact devices – hoping my mother remembered to collect me after school. The discerning look from the receptionist as I trundled back into the school office; bag, violin, and PE kit in hand to call home – shouldn’t have to be actively repeated. Yes, the challenge remains that children may have unsupervised time on their phones, but used correctly and for their original need – mobile phones can support the student, the school office, and the parent alike.

With dual consent, the parent also has the opportunity to ‘find my’ child through GPS tracking and instant communication, fostering a sense of security for both themselves and their children. Not only that but due to the two-way agreement of such software, the children can also see how far away the parent may be from collecting them from the school gates, without the sense of dread of being left at the school gates close.

During the school day
For students, as much as one may argue, phones facilitate social connection. From seeing where friends are at break or lunchtime to checking if they have already headed to the canteen, connection can help. In addition, for those having recently moved school or catchment, even having a mobile phone to communicate with others can help to combat feelings of isolation and loneliness, especially those facing geographical or social barriers.

Furthermore, during the school day, educational applications and software can be powerful tools, aiding in skill development, subject exploration, and reinforcing investigation and classroom learning. Long gone are the days of Encyclopaedia CD-ROMs, Ask Jeeves; instead, phones can provide instant access to information for research and projects, empowering students to become independent learners. Additionally, some applications on phones and tablets can promote organization and responsibility through features like dictation and note-taking software, calendars and reminders, and even prompts for mindfulness and grounding.

As an educator in both further and higher education, I find technology in the classroom can be a great tool to check knowledge consolidation, highlight independent learning and support content creation, presentations, and group work. I think there then has to be a two-way understanding with the use of phones in the classroom, as an educational tool and less a communication distraction. Envisioning the nightmare of ‘passing notes in class’ but with multiple notes, gifs, and memes, alongside the educator's inability to interject a note mid-pass can seem daunting; the two-way understanding of respect is both earned and rewarded, and mobile phone use in the classroom should be a privilege so easily revoked.

The Notification Drawback: Distraction, Inappropriate Content, and Cyberbullying

With all the understanding of the benefits of technology for a student’s social, mental, and cognitive development and learning, the potential downsides of mobile phone use in schools and educational settings cannot be ignored.

The winding road to Nomophobia
The term Nomophobia is an abbreviation of the fear of having no mobile phone, a term coined "no-mobile-phone-phobia" referring to the heightened worry and fear of being without a mobile phone. If you have ever had the ‘low battery’ or 3% battery as you're taking an important call, or getting on the tube – you’ll understand that flutter of fear that your contactless won’t make the barrier. Away from the contactable safety and contactless financial security, not having your phone in your hand at all times may actually come with its benefits. Research shows how a digital detox can be beneficial for our mental health and well-being, social relationships, self-control, or performance (1). It must be noted that research holds mixed reviews in this area, but research points to digital detoxes as a mechanism of change for appreciating concrete, face-to-face social interactions, mindfulness, and mental well-being.

Distraction of the Silent Beep
One major concern is distraction when it comes to phone use, the use of our phones to be in communication and contactable every moment of the day, even when we are otherwise engaged. Adding to this is the constant sound of alerts, ringtones, haptics, and beeps of a notification as it hits our phones. The sound of phones can disrupt classroom focus, hinder concentration in learning, and negatively impact academic performance. Interestingly, research has found that when having a phone on silent can actually predict more mobile phone use (2), especially with people with high levels of Fear of Missing Out, or Need to Belong. The careful balance then needs to be considered with alerts challenging concentration to the continual need to check on communication, for the worry of missing out on a communication channel or conversation.

Focusing on the Screen and not the Scene
Excessive screen time can also lead to physical and mental health challenges, affecting sleep, social communication development, and emotional well-being. Using your phone at certain times of the day can affect a person’s sleep quality and brain activity (3). Moreover, the constant accessibility of inappropriate content, numerous flitting social conversations, and being forever online in highlights the risk of cyberbullying and unfiltered online content. Monitoring beneficial apps and open communication regarding responsible online behavior is crucial, but complete protection can be challenging and sometimes does not allow our children to develop a sense of trust and independence with what they choose to view online.

Banning vs. Regulation: Weighing the Options

The understanding has been made that ‘complete bans’ of mobile phones in school have been proposed as a solution, aiming to reduce distractions, foster real-world interactions, and combat potential educational challenges and cyberbullying. While eliminating these risks is appealing, complete bans also come with significant safety, independence, and social drawbacks. Banning phones hinders communication between parents and children and limits access to valuable learning resources. Furthermore, enforcing such bans across an entire school can be resource-intensive, impractical, and creates another step for teachers to reprimand students for a device that may support their anxiety, health, productivity, and wellbeing.

A Balanced Approach: Alternatives and Collaboration

Instead of strict ‘no phone’ bans, exploring instead alternative policies may be more effective. Designated phone-free times and zones, and a two-way level of communication and respect with technology and digital interaction may benefit those using phones and provide a regulated environment. Addressing the underlying issues like distraction and cyberbullying through targeted interventions and open communication is crucial for long-term solutions in both the home, school and work environment. Ultimately, a collaboration between parents, educators, and students in developing home and school-wide agreements will provide children the opportunity of a responsibility of digital awareness and identity with a more grounded and sustainable approach.

Navigating the complexities of mobile phone use with ourselves and our next generation requires a balanced approach. It's crucial to acknowledge the potential benefits and drawbacks while considering the unique context of each school, family, and communication channel alike. Embracing responsible digital identity and understanding through conversation and collaboration can instead pave the way for a learning environment that leverages technology as a beneficial communication and learning tool while safeguarding the physical and mental health and well-being of children, students, and the wider technologically active population.

(1) Radtke T, Apel T, Schenkel K, Keller J, von Lindern E. Digital detox: An effective solution in the smartphone era? A systematic literature review. Mobile Media & Communication. 2022 May;10(2):190-215.
(2) Liao M, Sundar SS. Sound of silence: Does Muting Notifications Reduce Phone Use?. Computers in Human Behavior. 2022 Sep 1;134:107338.
(3) Silvani MI, Werder R, Perret C. The influence of blue light on sleep, performance and wellbeing in young adults: A systematic review. Frontiers

]]><![CDATA[The Ups and Downs of Reality TV: A Psychological Rollercoaster]]>Wed, 24 Jan 2024 19:44:20 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/the-ups-and-downs-of-reality-tv-a-psychological-rollercoaster

Picture the twists and turns of life commitments, be it work, family or a need to keep up with friends and social bookings. Our daily grind, although rewarding at times, can almost feel relentless - a never-ending rollercoaster of commitments and societal pressures. In this looping pursuit, we often forget something crucial: the human need to hit the pause button. Just to step off to the side-lines for a moment to escape the daily buzz can be a game-changer for our well-being.

Taking a deep breath and reminding ourselves that there's a whole world beyond the corkscrew of the commitments we need to fulfil. In an ever-expanding landscape of our need to relax, our escapism to entertainment reigns supreme, especially reality television. With options of subscriber entertainment streaming services hitting double figures and the average UK household spending around £42 of streaming and satellites services, what impact are the programmes we watch having on our psychological health and wellbeing.

Although some may abstain from admission, latest statistics suggest 70% of UK audiences regularly watch reality television, the need for a peek in to others ‘day to day’ gives a sense of escapism, self-comparison and voyeurism – watching others’ lives for a touch of social connection and distraction from the daily grind. From dating dramas to culinary competitions, reality tv shows captivate audiences with their relatively unscripted glimpses into real people’s lives. Each reality television programme is meticulously edited for a rollercoaster of drama, and cliff-edge choices, decisions and arguments. But beyond the surface of potential manufactured moments lies a fascinating landscape of psychology, a complex interplay of psychological effects, a constant gravity defining plunge where escapism and catharsis intertwine with the ever-present danger of social comparison.

The Ascent of Escapism:
For many, reality TV serves as a welcome escape from our day-to-day commitments. We immerse ourselves in the whirlwind of emotions, vicariously experiencing the thrills of a life, far removed from our own. This temporary disconnect from daily stressors can be cathartic, offering a much-needed drama filled emotional release. Social comparison, though often skewed by the structured editing of a proposed unstructured reality television show, comes into play too. Watching the continual realities of reality stars, and how they deal with break ups, backstabbing and bad bakes, can be strangely comforting, prompting the reassuring thought, "my life isn't that bad." Additionally, for those looking for the thrill of excitement, reality television provides a front-row seat to exotic adventures, showstopping successes, glamorous lifestyles, and whirlwind romances, albeit through the unfiltered yet controlled lens of the camera.

The Plunge of Despair:
However, the escapist allure of reality television comes with potential hidden psychological costs. The constant emotional rollercoaster, carefully orchestrated by skilled editors and producers, can leave viewers drained and on edge. Heightened arousal, powered by manufactured tension and conflict, can mirror and morph into feels of stress and anxiety for the people on the show and ourselves. The paradox of parasocial relationships – a one-sided bond of emotional energy in characters we know primarily through the TV – can trigger our own anxieties, stresses, and uncertainties about their choices and success in the reality television shows. Furthermore, the portrayals of others success can elicit feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, particularly when viewers engage in unhealthy social comparison. The fear of missing out (FOMO) also rears its ugly head, as we see others living exciting, exhilarating and occasionally financially rewarding lives, leading to dissatisfaction with our own.

Navigating the Psychological Twists:
The impact of reality TV on our mental well-being depends heavily on our individual factors, viewing habits, and life context. Those prone to negative social comparison, or with low self-esteem are more likely to experience challenging effects. Similarly, excessive or binge-watching these shows can exacerbate the downsides, while critical and mindful viewing can mitigate them. For someone facing personal challenges, the escapism offered by reality television may be beneficial, while worsening the emotional state in others.

Mindful Consumption for Mitigating Costs:
So, is the rollercoaster of reality television an ascent or plunge in to our psychological health and wellbeing? The answer, as with most things in psychological debates, is both. By adopting responsible viewing habits and highlighting topics for social discussion, an escape from the corkscrews of commitments can maximise the benefits of taking time to unwind, while minimising the anxiety inducing stresses that our own lives may thrust to the forefront. Maintaining a healthy balance of time in and away from reality television – remembering it remains just one form of entertainment, and not an all-encompassing dominant force in our lives.

Fundamentally, actively understanding the psychological highs and lows of reality television’s appeal, empowers us to make informed choices about our viewing habits. By enjoying the ascent of positive escapism and emotional release with the awareness of the potential plunge of unrealistic expectations and social comparison, we can ensure that these shows remain just that – entertainment – without compromising our psychological health and well-being.

]]><![CDATA[The Self-fulfilling Phophecy of Blue Monday]]>Mon, 15 Jan 2024 07:45:15 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/the-self-fulfilling-phophecy-of-blue-monday

You may have woken to hear the term Blue Monday and begin cancelling plans for today knowing it will be your saddest day of the year, and you are not alone.
The infamous Blue Monday is upon us, the 3rd Monday in January and those around may discuss why this is our most depressing day, even search out for reasons that it is - that in there lies the problem.

The self-fulfilling prophecy of Blue Monday is the non-superstitious relative of Friday the 13th. When you think Friday the 13th will be unlucky, you look for day things to happen. This is no different to Blue Monday whereby the Hype and Media of Blue Monday becomes our self-fulfilling prophecy, influencing people's perception and mood on that day. If you feel today will be a sad and depressing day, you will search for those things - think of it as a glass half empty kind of day.

So first, what is Blue Monday and why is it coined such a thing? Well the term Blue Monday stems from a UK travel company who requested Cliff Arnall to write a scientific formula for the January blues, and the third Monday was deemed from the calculations as the most depressing day. This formula was created looking factors such as the cold dark weather, credit card debt, post-holiday comedown, motivational and the new year resolution challenges. Some of these factors I’m sure we can all resonate with to feel that this may be a difficult time, but whether it is the same day for all of us is still yet to be noted.

There must be noted however - there is something to be said for the January Blues - and its place in our feelings in these dark and wintery days. The post-holiday comedown, financial strains, and the pressure of unkept resolutions can all somewhat dampen our spirits much like the current weather. For some it can be an even more challenging time, with around 1 in 20 people in the UK diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). For those struggling at this time of year, it is important to talk to others, whether it be friends and family or seek professional support from a healthcare professional.

Whether you’ve woken up today feeling a bit “Blue” this Monday or even this January, as much as this Monday may be Blue, so are the bright blue skies in the mornings we will see before long. January may feel like the longest month of the year, but with the sun staying longer in the sky each and everymorning, before we know it we will wake up to a sunrise and leave work in the light.

Whilst we wait for the sun to stay high in the sky, below are top tips to support you to get through this challenging time, whether it be the Blue Monday or the January BLUES:

Be connected
Staying connected with family and friends is a great way to find support. By speak to others, they can share in challenges, as well as showing that you’re potentially not alone in your feelings. As human beings we are naturally social creatures, and staying in touch with others can help to feel part of a community, group and supportive setting. If you can’t meet up physically, send someone a message or give them a call. If we have learnt anything from the pandemic, communication is key for a stronger and more positive mental health.

Look to the future
January is a challenging time for most people; being dark, cold, and with Christmas credit card bills looming. It’s important at this time to not purely focus on the here and now but look forward to the future. In less than 2 months time, official spring time will be upon us and the cold dark nights will feel like a distant memory. Think and plan something you will look forward to and put motions in place to make it happen.

Uptake a new challenge
Achieving something will always make us feel a sense of pride, whether it be a small thing you’ve wanted to do for a while, or a big plan you want to work toward. Take something on that you can achieve during this time, and think of the positives this challenge will bring you - why do you want to do it, how will you make it happen, how will you prevent barriers from stopping you achieving your goal. Take something on and soon you’ll feel that rush of achievement before you know it.

Exercise Daily
Exercising is so important for both mind and body. Exercise releases levels of serotonin, dopamine and noradrenaline. Exercise improves and helps us to regulate these neurotransmitters, which ultimately help us feel mentally healthy, as well as physically better too. From as simple as getting out for a brisk walk to taking up a new exercise class can make us feel so much better with every other part of our lives. Not only physically but mentally exercising as well is just as important - taking time for yourself, reading a book to learning a new craft can help us to feel endorphins that beat those blues.

Seek out the Sun
It won’t be long until we feel the warmth of the sunshine once more, but the sunshine is not just for the long summer days. Exposure to sunlight increases the brains release of the hormone serotonin, the feel good hormone. Not only that but Vitamin D has a huge benefit on our health and mood. Just 5-15 minutes of sunlight a few times week can help promote rejuvenation, supporting a healthy body and mind.

In summary, Blue Monday as a term may loom large, but it's just one day in a year of opportunities. Try to not let a manufactured label define your January experience. Despite its media spotlight, and it’s question in scientific validity and rigour, it does still touch on some real psychological experiences and challenges faced by many people in January. While feeling down after the holidays or facing financial pressures is understandable, equating it to a universal "most depressing day" can be challenging for those already feeling low. How we feel shouldn’t be dismissed by a simple day of the week, month, or year, but instead used as an opportunity to talk to those around you. A problem shared really is a problem halved, communication is key for addressing your wintery woes, and remember - the blue skies and long days will soon be upon us.

]]><![CDATA[Pandemic Nostalgia: True or False?]]>Tue, 11 Apr 2023 16:43:36 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/pandemic-nostalgia-true-or-false

In March 2020, society ground open day to a halt, human face-to-face interaction ceased and the world went in to a lockdown.

To some this is a moment that produced fear and anxiety of the threat to health, both physically and mentally. For others it was a time where the stresses and strains of everyday life were suddenly removed. We had no choice but to stay at home, metaphorically locked in to our houses to contain spread of the virus.

With this, people began to find time to do something they may not ave done before; from a guilt-free day of boxset TV watching, learning a new instrument, to online video conferencing “pub quiz” style calls with friends and family. People kept in touch more than ever before using means of online interaction, including the world of the newest boom of social media at that time, TikTok.

3 years on and the world as returned to its new level of normal, with COVID19 still in conversation, but more of a distant past time than at the forefront of our conversations. With this we are finding a new conversation of nostalgia across social media platforms looking at the “good times” of lockdown, and reminiscing all the things we could do when we had the time available to do it.

Many people are now being seen on social media video platforms such as instagram and TikTok to look back at this era with a fond memory of the opportunity of time, communication and interaction they built online; checking in with friends and family and spending time talking to loved ones they would not have done previously. With the world going back to its new normal, online conferencing software “family catch ups” have ceased, and less “checking in” on friends due to the lack of time brought back by the commitments of face to face life and work.

We know from research that our memories are extremely malleable and different people and generations may have different interpretive memories of the COVID19 pandemic; from doctors and nurses on the frontline reflecting on the pandemic with fear, others felt a sense of silence and peace being fundamentally removed from the stressors that previous work and life may have brought on. We all experienced COVID19 together, as a collective force, but unusually quite unequal in our experiences, feelings and memories of the event.

With the newest craze of lockdown nostalgia, people are being found to reminisce the good times of lockdown, creating a source of positive memories that were creating during such a time of uncertainty. With over 3 years now since lockdown began, our memories inevitably change over time and we remember the good, the bad and the ugly in a cascade of Chinese whispers, creating a new understanding and story of our COVID19 lockdown - the nostalgia of the lockdown in, interestingly, a positive slant for society, communication, and human interaction in such an unprecedented time.

]]><![CDATA[Psychology of the Early Bird: How Personality Has a Part to Play]]>Sun, 26 Mar 2023 00:00:00 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/psychology-of-the-early-bird-how-personality-has-a-part-to-play

The world seems to be divided into two parts of the day: those who see the sunrise, and those who see the sunset. The chirpy enthusiasm of the early morning workouts and #5amClub may fill some with fear, dread or even admiration and sheer wonder.
The two separate camps set their sights on a winged creature; the early bird ‘lark’ or the night ‘owl’. However within our bustling landscape of modern life, our sleep patterns are more than just a matter of routine (or birds); they are deeply rooted in our individual personalities.

The distinction between early birds and night owls goes beyond the hands of the clock and when we need to wake up for work or family life – it instead delves into the intricacies of our psychological makeup, influencing not only our productivity at work but also our overall mental health and well-being.

Understanding Chronotypes: Our Internal Clocks
To understand the psychology associated with early birds or night owls, it's essential to grasp the concept of our “chronotypes”. A chronotype is defined as an individual's natural ability or preference in being more alert, active, and productive during specific times of the day. It is essentially our internal biological clock that influences our sleep-wake patterns and peak periods of cognitive and physical performance.
You may then argue that you can be alert (or not) at both times of the day. This can in fact be true as approximately 70% of the population fall within the level of normality and 30% of either side of our feathered friends.

Nature vs. Nurture: The Ongoing Debate
So is our chronotype a choice, or are we born with it? It could be argued, as always in the world of Psychology, as both - the nature nurture argument as it were.
In nature, research has shown twin studies to have similar sleep wake patterns, and genetic associations with sleep timing regulation, further highlighting the role of genetics.
Nurture however must be noted as a prominent factor in our behaviours away from our genetics and predispositions. Our early life experiences shaped by our parents can impact our alertness at points of the day. Parental work schedules, school routines, and bedtime rituals at a young age may impact our internal body clock over time.
However in the constant seesaw of the nature nuture debate, it’s likely not a case of one or the other, but rather a complex interplay of both. Our genes provide the blueprint for our internal clock, but environmental factors act as sculptors, refining and shaping our chronotype as we grow and develop.
Personality Traits and the Early Bird vs. Night Owl Dichotomy
Our personality traits (these also affected by the nature vs nurture argument themselves) have a part to play in our behaviour around productivity and the alertness around the clock, especially when focusing on the big five personality traits of Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neutrocism.
Larks for example, may exhibit a morning eagerness and structured routine, and have been shown to score higher on conscientiousness and agreeableness. They tend to thrive on order and planning, their minds naturally attuned to deadlines and early starts.
Owls, on the other hand, tend to exhibit increased openness and impulsivity, and flourish in the quiet solitude of the night, their minds buzzing with ideas unburdened by the day's distractions.
These characteristics extend beyond mere labels; they shape our approach to the world. Larks may excel in tasks demanding focus and discipline, leveraging early mornings as an optimal timeframe for profound concentration and methodical action. Conversely, the Owls harness late-night bursts of energy to cultivate creative flow, addressing challenges with late night bursts of concentration and focus.

Spreading the Wings of Chronotype Productivity
The societal pressure of productivity and your sleep wake preference may lead to challenges for some, feeling the standard traditional 9-5 work patterns benefit those with early bird lark traits.
Traditional school, university and work patterns may not work for all, and society and workplace patterns may need to address the productivity paradigm, to support those in their peak performance time and capability. Our sleep-wake patterns may have an influence on our emotional well-being, feeling out of sync with our natural rhythms may lead to negativity due to challenges around tiredness and fatigue.
Conversely, aligning with our chronotype to our own productivity can be a powerful tool for self-care. Larks can leverage their mornings for mindfulness practices and exercise, setting the tone for a positive day. Owls can carve out late-night hours for creative expression and social connection, nurturing their emotional well-being.
Whilst some timings cannot be changed for work, education, familial and societal commitments, one’s productivity can be nurtured to be at a time most beneficial to the individual. Think about the time that may work best for you, when you feel most alive. That would be the time to do something you enjoy, something that will benefit your development, whether it be in educational, creative or social.

Beyond the Binary Bird:
It's important to remember that the lark-owl dichotomy is not a strict one or the other. Most of us fall somewhere on the spectrum, with varying degrees of flexibility in our sleep-wake patterns. Understanding our individual tendencies and working with them, not against them, is the key to unlocking our full potential.
In a world designed for the middle ground and average chronotype, embracing our own bird, the lark or owl in your own nature can be a powerful act of self-acceptance. It's about listening to our your internal rhythm and sleep wake clock, creating routines that resonate with your rhythms, and carving out a space where we can thrive, regardless of the sun's position in the sky.

]]><![CDATA[The Aftermath of Love Island – the Social Media battleground and its impact on mental health.]]>Mon, 01 Aug 2022 23:00:00 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/the-aftermath-of-love-island-the-social-media-battleground-and-its-impact-on-mental-health

With the Love Island Final set to be watched by over 5 million people, the remaining couples in the villa are inching closer to a potential win of £50,000, as well – of course – their one true love? After the whispers of love and emotion are declared, the winners are announced, the prize money is received and the Spanish dust settles, what happens then? Weel, for the contestants themselves, they are catapulted into a life of media management, meet and greets, and social media fame – but what happens to them and the 5 million people who watched their declarations of love for the world to see, hashtag, and comment on.

That’s when Good Contestants become Good Friends

Not too dissimilar to soap dramas, audiences watch hours of fictional storylines - feeling that they are ‘one’ with the characters - this is the storyline of Love Island, but with real people. Psychologists highlight viewers who binge-watch such reality TV shows with the same characters may develop a parasocial interaction with the contestants; an unreciprocated friendship or connection one may feel with fictional characters or media personalities. How we respond to the participants and characters of reality tv and drama has a lot to do with our need to empathise with the person, fictional or not, in that given situation. Our own previous experiences with what the person may be going through may reflect our own personal thoughts, feelings and experiences, creating an element of empathy for that ‘character’. With this parasocial relationship, a viewer may extend emotional energy, interest and time, and feel a closeness and connecton in their lives with a person who does not know that they exist. In this sense, the viewer may feel emotion toward a particular contestant, based purely on the storyline they have been part of. This phenomenon is frequently discussed by numerous soap actors, with TV viewers blurring lines between reality and fiction, shouting at actors in the street about their behaviour on a scripted fictional soap or tv show, worlds away from their normal lives. Research suggests viewers fundamentally become so invested in the contestants lives and storylines, the exciting events of the show, and the exhilarating plot twists in which it all happens. When it’s all over, they may be faced with a feeling of emptiness, a dull sense reality associated with lower mood and feelings, depression, social interaction anxiety, and even loneliness.

However, not all is lost – due to the world of 24/7 social media, Love Island never actually ends. Whilst the show is on each night, Love Island allows the ability to communicate in their sponsored real-life online forum, Reddit, allowing the audience to comment in real time, to a mass of virtual potential responses. In addition to the hashtags and tweeted opinions live throughout airtime, the addition of the contestants’ social media profiles being kept up to date by friends and family has blurred the lines between the contestants lives before during and after their time on the show.

Much of the psychological challenges and issues that have been associated with Love Island have stemmed from, or been linked with, the aftermath of the social media barrage directed at the contestants after their time on the show. This convergence of fact vs fiction, how we feel about a character in comparison to how the producers portray their storyline, can have a direct impact on their popularity - positive or negative - once back in the real world. Love Island contestants futures flourish or flounder based on their social media impact after the show has come to an end. This challenge of being thrust into the limelight, alongside the continual critique that comes from the invisible instigators, the “Keyboard Karen’s (or Ken’s)”, can directly affect one’s mental health – so widely seen recently in the media linked to Love Island and Reality TV Shows.

Behind the Keyboard, why do some think it’s okay to abuse Reality Stars?

“They deserve it, look at them, they chose to do this, they were asking for it”. All comments and statements seen across social media when questioning others need to troll and verbally abuse reality TV stars. Yet turn those statements on their head to physically abusive statements and it’s not so innocent. Psychologists define keyboard warriors, or trolls, as individuals with a sense of emotional inner turmoil, using their perceived power to invisibly belittle others as a way to self-satisfy their internal crisis. Recent research found keyboard warriors have personality traits associated with the dark triad of personality; narcissism, machiavellianism, psychopathy. The safety behind the keyboard allows people the opportunity to say what they feel without the apparent repercussions of the negative emotional and verbal abuse that would be deemed unacceptable within face to face society. These challenges with social media and cyberbullying have only been exacerbated over the past 24 months whereby online and social media platforms have been the main way to communicate through an unprecedented pandemic. With applications such as TikTok and Instagram soaring during this time, keyboard warriors with additional time at their fingertips and the evidential mental health challenges of the pandemic, project their inner misery to others in the form of written abuse.

We must all remember that reality stars are humans too.

As watchers of Love Island, or any reality show – Strictly, I’m a celebrity, even Bake off – we must remember that the participants may be entertainment on a show, but they are also human. Even though the saying regarding sticks and stones may hold true, words, negative comments and abuse via the direct social media channels can truly hurt us. With recent mental health challenges seen in the media and their association to Love Island contestants, more communication needs to be drawn between the support they receive on the outside world of Love Island. The contestants may go into the villa a ‘relatively unknown’ person in society, and come out of the villa armed with a barrage of messages, all pre-conceived based on a storyline and dramatic editing of the Love Island Reality TV show. This exponential rise in societal awareness for them as a person, a character, and a celebrity, creates a fundamental shift in their lives so dramatic that additional support to take time for themselves is not only needed, but paramount to a successful cohesion of their new found fame and their life before Love Island.

]]><![CDATA[The Psychology behind Love Island - “It is what it is” or is it?]]>Mon, 06 Jun 2022 23:00:00 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/the-psychology-behind-love-island-it-is-what-it-is-or-is-it

Amongst the sun, sea, and sponsorship deals, lies a villa in the heart of Majorca. A villa adorned with swimwear, sunscreen, and over 70 cameras watching the every move of a conveyor belt of contestants, heading to the summer hottest reality TV show. This ladies and gentlemen, is Love Island.

Love Island has been on our screens since 2015 and now beginning it’s 8th series, with around 36 contestants gracing our screens over the 8 week show. So, is Love Island just Gen Z’s using their time on the daily primetime show to gain media fame and followers - or is there an underlying social experiment behind the love searching singletons than meets the eye - absolutely.

The popularity of Love Island first of all is seen by the daily ritual of a 9pm primetime slots, whereby over 3 million people (ITV, 2022) watched the trials and tribulations, the love and laughter, the heart make and heart break of the opening episode for this years extravaganza. This 8 week reality shows may give the general public viewers an element of escapism from everyday affairs, watching the drama unfold with real people and real lives. So what makes this show so popular, and why do we watch it? What is the drive behind the storylines, is there more to it than just looking for love - and why are we so invested?

The Psychology behind the Show

For anyone not ‘au fait’ with the reality television, Love Island is centred around a villa in Majorca, with the main ethos of the show finding love, staying until the final, and being in with a chance of winning £50,000. Fundamentally, the main crux of the show is the need to be in a ‘couple’ to continue until the end. If you are classed as ‘single’ in the regular re-coupling or deemed as the weakest couple – either by other couples or the viewers, then you are voted off the show and your time on Love Island is over.

The show itself holds such an interesting phenomenon for psychological understanding of human social interactions and behaviours, unravelling how people react in given situations – especially with regard to friendships and relationships within the villa. Similar to the award winning show of Big Brother which spanned 18 years, both Love Island and Big Brother hold similar concepts of contestants, shut off the real world; the element of time, reality and the outside world become a distant memory – and only what happens in the house - or villa - counts. This temporary new world holds an important understanding around human social behaviour; how we react with others, the friend groups we make, and forming alliances to be able to survive in unravelling drama creating for and by the TV show. Some of the main interesting psychological concepts from Love Island are discussed with the main idea of forming relationships and ‘coupling up’. With tag lines and sayings such as; ‘it is what it is’ stating things may happen out of your control; ‘their type on paper’ being what they look for in a partner; ‘head’s being turned’ suggesting they may have more feelings toward another contestant; and ‘open to getting to know them’ highlighting their intention to communicate with a new potential love interest. Sayings aside, the same notions are clear in every day lives, just expedited within the 24 hours a day 7 days a week filming of the show.

The Psychology behind the Contestants

With over 100,000 applicants to Love Island in 2022 alone, the show is never short of an array of personalities, looks, and singletons looking for love. The lives of these contestants are also drawn out throughout the show, with the good, the bad and the ugly of relationships. One of the main aspects of the social psychology with Love Island is this idea of the development of relationships and seeing them played out with all the world to see. Although one may think that the relationships are for show due to the obvious nature of the camera, former reality TV contestants have discussed how they forget about the cameras after a while and it just became real, everyday life and relationship formation. This element of aspects of real life playing out in front of the camera has its benefits to the psychological understanding of some relationship situations, whether deemed positive or negative.

An interesting phenomenon within the psychology of Love Island is this need to be in a ‘couple’ to stay on the show. Whilst some enter situationships (a relationship of convenience) or friendship couples, the challenge is always there to find the ‘right person’, their ‘type on paper’. This is highlighted within the contestants behaviours and underlying psychological principle of ‘delayed gratification’. Some contestants may couple up with a partner straight away, whereas others continue to follow a long-term strategy to wait to find ‘their type on paper’. This mirrors a well-known psychological experiment known as the ‘Marshmallow test’. Mischel and colleagues (1972) asked students to choose between a single marshmallow now, or wait and have 2 marshmallows in 20 minutes time. Whilst the idea of waiting to potentially have something better, the need for instant gratification is compelling, and led most students to consume the single marshmallow instead of waiting for the larger reward. This idea can be seen in the ‘coupling up’ in Love Island, with people choosing a relationship, yet not seemingly settling each time new arrivals appear.

After the first ‘coupling up’ happens, connections start to shift between contestants, as they begin to find that ‘initial’ physical attraction is overweighed by the need for communication and personality similarities. Although studies (Karandashev & Fata, 2014) highlight the importance of physical attraction within a relationship, the change between physical to emotional attraction is soon evident when establishing a partner. Within Love Island, the challenge is highlighted when a new contestant enters the villa, and ‘the grass may be greener’ creates a potential shift in the current relationships, however solid they may seem. The social comparison between contestants of the same sex may cause a clash between these groups, with the original member of the couple feeling jealousy with their partner ‘getting to know’ a new person, however innocent it may be.

Regarding these groups in more detail, social psychology discusses the importance of these friend groups, cliques that fundamentally appear quickly within a social situation. These are made up of people that share the same characteristics and values, and begin early-on in a given situation when there is a fundamental need to appeal to others, such as a TV show about relationships. Within Love Island this is normally seen within the friend groups of the guys and the girls. Social psychologists can explain this grouping of people as part of the realistic conflict theory. A well known classic study (Sherif et al., 1954) found that dividing up students in to two groups was enough to make some of the students dislike the other group, for no other reason than they are ‘outsiders’ of their group. Mirroring this to Love Island, later arrivals are seen to get a harder time in infiltrating the group dynamic as the group members and their roles have already been established. These close knit friend groups are challenged when new contestants arrive on the show, with the new potential arrival not only looking to partner up with someone already in a couple, but to break the friendship and ‘girl’ or ‘guy-code’ with the dissolution of a relationship for their own potential benefit, whether it be a relationship with that person, or success on the show.

This conflict within relationship has been highlighted over the last few years of Love Island, with ‘reg flags’ and ‘relationship issues’ being aired for the world to watch. Recently, Womens Aid posted on social media regarding the most recent series of Love Island, about the behaviour of particular contestants amid the conduct within some of the relationships. In addition to these potential behaviours being seen and highlighted on a national tv platform, Womens Aid highlighted that the show has a role to play in ending emotional and domestic abuse within relationships. Whereas these situations in such reality shows are played out for the world to watch, many situations of gaslighting and emotional abuse within relationships are not as apparent and can thus go unnoticed and under the radar. Although these situations are not even slightly suggested to be a benefit for anyone, TV show or not, one may suggest by highlighting ‘what types of emotional abuse’ may look like may raise awareness for people who may not see the signs from friends and family and realise the signs to seek help and support from others. This is mirrored not only in reality TV shows with such focus on relationships, but also highlighted within soaps and dramas as a way of discussing sensitive topics and raising awareness for others who may not see the signs in that given situation.

Fact vs Fiction of the Reality TV Contestants

Not too dissimilar to the addiction of soap dramas, whereby people have to be home to watch hours of fictional storylines - feeling that they are ‘one’ with the characters, understanding their problems and living through their stories - this is the storyline of Love Island, but with real people. How we respond to the participants and characters of reality tv and drama has a lot to do with our need to empathise with the person, fictional or not, in that given situation. Our own previous experiences with ‘the situation’ the person may be going through may reflect or highlight our own personal thoughts, feelings and experiences, thus creating an element of empathy and sympathy for that ‘character’. The viewers may then find themselves invested in that situation, thus by-proxy living that experience through the storyline unfolding. This phenomenon is frequently discussed by numerous soap actors, with TV viewers blurring lines between reality and fiction, shouting at actors in the street about their behaviour on a scripted fictional soap or tv show, worlds away from their normal lives.

This involvement in storylines, and blurring of reality vs television, is highlighted significantly with reality TV shows. With regard to Love Island, the ability to communicate in a real-life online forum, with their new sponsorship deal with Reddit, allows the audience to add their viewpoints in real time, to a mass of virtual potential responses. In addition to the hashtags and tweeted opinions live throughout the shows airtime, the addition of the contestants’ Social Media profiles being kept up to date by friends and family has blurred the lines between the contestants lives before during and after their time on the show. Much of the psychological challenges and issues that have been associated with Love Island have stemmed from, or been linked with, the aftermath of the social media barrage directed at the contestants after their time on the show. This convergence of fact vs fiction, how we feel about a character in comparison to how the producers shown their storyline, can have a direct impact on their popularity - positive or negative - once back in the real world. We as readers, and potentially watchers of the show - must remember that the participants are also human. Even though the saying regarding sticks and stones may hold true, words, negative comments and abuse via the direct social media channels can truly hurt us.

So Love Island, it is what it is, or is it?

With the reality TV show beginning its 8th series, the success of the show may still have viewers hooked to the twists and turns of people’s lives. With a day’s filming condensed in to 1 hour episodes (with sponsorship adverts), we must remember the drama is magnified with a summer of singletons finding friendship, love and fame over the prposed 8 weeks, and the show would only be as successful as it is with drama and editing by the producers. The show itself, although not a research experiment in its nature, helps us to understand the challenges faced in many relationships, the difficulties with entering new situations and how to deal with the fear of failure and a popularity game of such magnitude for the world to see. It’s true that the show itself has its lovers as it has its haters, however with the current mental health crisis surrounding the impact of social media on contestants and peoples opinions on individual contestants and their lives, it is important to note that whatever one’s views – this show ‘is what it is’ - a reality TV show of real people with real feeling, living real lives once outside of the villa.

References

Karandashev, V., & Fata, B. (2014). Change in physical attraction in early romantic relationships. Interpersona: An International Journal on Personal Relationships, 8(2).

Mischel, W., Ebbesen, E. B., & Raskoff Zeiss, A. (1972). Cognitive and attentional mechanisms in delay of gratification. Journal of personality and social psychology, 21(2), 204.

Sherif, M., Harvey, O. J., White, B. J., Hood, W. R., & Sherif, C. W. (1954). 1961 Intergroup Conflict and Cooperation: The Robbers Cave Experiment. Norman, OK: University of Oklahoma.

]]><![CDATA[How to SMASH your New Year’s Resolutions]]>Sat, 15 Jan 2022 08:00:00 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/how-to-smash-your-new-years-resolutionsWhen we look to set a goal or a behaviour change, whether it be sometime throughout the year, or the inevitable "New Year New Me" Resolution, we want them to succeed. This gives us a sense of achievement and fulfilment, as well as a positive behaviour change that may support our lives, health and wellbeing.

The struggles with resolutions can range from setting a goal unattainable with your life and work commitments, to facing obstacles and not being able to overcome them. With this, a 5 step process has been suggested as a way to SMASH your Resolutions - that can may I add, be made any time of the year, not just January 1st!

SMASH stands for;

Set Foundations
Making Plans
Activate and Engage
Step Forwards
Habit Formation

Set foundations
Before you start with a resolution, goal or action, it’s important you set the foundation of want you actually want to achieve. By preparing for the action both psychologically and mentally sets the foundation for success. Choose important, realistic, and achievable goals making small and specific changes within your everyday life. By choosing a positive over a negative resolution, will help to make those manageable steps to a positive mindset. Consider the potential pathways to achieving your goal and any think that could hold you back. By understanding the potential risks and challenges to achieving your goals, you can plan how you will overcome these.

Making plans
Form a practical and realistic strategy to make your behaviour change possible. Research shows that setting goals increases the success of achieving in both short and long term. As such, using SMART goals are a great way to measure your goal and see success; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-based. So instead of I’m going to go to get fitter, try at least 3 times a week I will set my alarm 30 minutes early and get up and do a fitness video before I start my day. Many resolutions may start too large, such as, I’m going do a fitness video every day, if something then gets in your way and prevents you from doing it for one single day it may feel like a failure and less likely to continue onwards. Positive plans are also important here, instead of ‘I’m going to stop smoking’, try ‘I’m going to be smoke-free’. We all have slip ups in our habit formation, but by looking at the positive mindset helps to continue on the behaviour even if we have small set backs.

Activate and engage
We’ve made plans, we can see our barriers and we how to overcome them. Now it's time to activate and engage, put your resolution into practice. Do this by exchanging any negative behaviours for positive also known as counter-conditioning. Every time you want a snack, go for a walk, or have a drink of water. If you want to watch TV instead of going to the gym, put it on record - watch it after as a reward. Rewarding yourself for small changes make a huge difference, and more likely to achieve what you set out to do. Write down one positive thing you’ve achieved each day that you can look back on and see how much you have already changed.

Step forwards
We’ve all played snakes and ladders, and life is no different. There are times when we feel like we are doing amazing, climbing the ladder in success actions and behaviours, and times where we slide down the snake and feel that we are going wrong. With this it is always important to look forwards. Yes there may be times where we take 4 steps forwards and 1 step back, but all in all, we’re still 3 steps further forward when we started. Looking at the positive steps you’ve already made will help to show how far you have come. Breaking your goals up in to easy to manage, small but successful steps, known as sub-goals, will allow us to feel the benefits of achieving them. Remember, all of us have set backs, it’s how we deal with these, stepping forwards when we can and take a breathier when you need.

Habit formation
It takes 3 weeks to form a habit, remember this when you find it hard after the first weekend, or when someone tells you how long you have left. Research shows that it takes 21 days creates a habit, 66 days before one can do it automatically without thinking, and 90 days for it to be engrained within your lifestyle. Resolutions are not just for Christmas, they are long term and should become automatic within your everyday life. This is why it is so important to choose a resolution that is achievable, manageable and beneficial for you to continue on long term. Once this new habit is formed, it’s important to continue practicing your behaviours, and keep a focus on the benefits of that behaviour change. Think about how fitter you have become by doing that exercise, how much clearer your mind is after practising yoga, how much healthier you feel after going smoke free - seeing the practical changes in yourself will help to sustain that healthy change.

]]><![CDATA[Dealing with Pandemic and Restriction Fatigue - using SOULS]]>Wed, 15 Dec 2021 00:00:00 GMThttps://www.rachaelmolitor.co.uk/blog/dealing-with-pandemic-and-restriction-fatigue-using-souls

As the government reintroduces it’s work-from-home guidance, many are feeling their sense of normality slowly slipping, reversing back to the groundhog days of 2020.

Discussions of reverberating rules and restrictions echoing back and forth can lead one to feel exhaustion, fatigue and anxiety of the future. Recent research has found that although adherence to measures remains high, people are suffering with the seemingly backwards step so close to the festive holidays. This feeling of tiredness and exhaustion is termed “Pandemic Fatigue” or “Restriction Fatigue”, simply put - it’s at the point where short term measures and behaviour adaptations to the pandemic become longer term and longer lasting, without an end point in site. When the goal posts are moved and moved, the sprint becomes a marathon and the adherence to measures becomes more of longer lasting behaviour change, seeping in to our new sense of normality.

Sharing is Caring
With the broken record of covid still on repeat, it may feel difficult to talk about how you are feeling. It is so important however to not feel alone in your thoughts, and share your concerns and expectations, your worries and your fears with those around you. A problem shared is a problem halved is so true in this instance. At some point, others would have been through the same emotions, even going through it at this moment and the ability to talk to someone is so beneficial. Whether it be in person (if restrictions allow) or on the phone, a message or a zoom can really help you share how you are feeling. Chances are, others are going through the same thing and would be grateful of someone to confide in.

Out and active
Even with the newest rules in place regarding vaccine passports in certain establishments, at present everyone is still able to get out in the wintery fresh air and get their body moving. Much research highlights exercise as a benefit to society, releasing endorphins and helping to support a better mood and sense of wellbeing. Social exercise, such as a walk with friends, or a socially distanced class at the gym all supports a persons positive sense of health and wellbeing.

Understand the Facts
As well as the unprecedented pandemic, we are also battling an infodemic between fact and fiction. The vast amount of information from numerous unregulated sources regarding messages and misconceptions, makes it a challenge to portray research based information from the correct avenues and sources. Social media can be a benefit to spread good news, connect with others and perfect our tiktoks, but it can also create worry, anxiety and fear in the spreading of fake news and theories. Understanding the fact from the fiction, the scientifically backed data, and the peer reviewed published research regarding the pandemic is important to help create a sense of understanding.

Look to the future
Although this may be one of the most difficult to manage, due to the current reversing of restrictions such as working and mask wearing, we know these may not be forever. Planning small things that make you feel good, whether it be visiting family, planning a staycation, or taking up a hobby - planning something in small steps is a great way to support health and wellbeing by creating both short and long term goals. Think back to the days where the rules were first put in place and the uncertainty we felt - how we overcame these obstacles, seeing how far we have already come in society helps to shows the path for the future.

Strength in Self Care
We all know the advice to fit our mask before helping others in case of emergency, and in this pandemic we are no different. By helping and caring for yourself gives you the strength and the ability to care for others. During the cyclical restrictions and measures, many self care patterns have diminished, either from the inability to get out to the hair dressers or spa, or the challenges faced financially or emotionally with self care. Taking time for yourself is so extremely important and helps us to find our mental strength to deal with the current challenges we may face in the future. Finding coping strategies to reduce our ‘stress bucket’ helps to take on additional things that may have been too much to deal with. We currently do not know what the future holds, so finding our individual coping strategies will help to strength our resilience to challenges faced.

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